When Fast is Relative

So, this is the whole value of time thing again. Combined with a little "oops" and "duh" on my part. And a little bit of technological slavery to round it out.

So, I have this old war-horse laptop, I think it was designed by Thomas Edison, but I can't be sure. At any rate, it has served me well, I technically never paid for it and it gets me from point A to point B in a spreadsheet or on the Internet with a minimum amount of fuss.

It is also home to every single last iota of work, personal data, photos, music and whatever else you can think of. Since I back up my laptop as often as people change their tires (i.e. only when they get a flat), you can guess what complete, horrific and unmitigated disaster was waiting for me.

It all started innocently enough. I noticed the laptop was running a bit slow so I decided to power it down and restart it as it hadn't had any rest since, oh I don't know - December 14. Anyway, I try to turn it off using the standard Windows function - click on Start, make a coffee, see if the menu has come up... That doesn't work. Then I push the power button (option number 2). That doesn't work. Then the menu finally pops up. The old Thomas Magnum voice in the back of my head is practically screaming at me at this point to "NOT TURN IT OFF UNTIL YOU DO A BACK UP!!!!!!". So of course Monkey Stu clicks shut down. And that, as they say, was that. Laptop deader than a dead parrot.

Swiftly flying into action, I began cursing and swearing like a crazed person. By the time I calmed down though, I had formed a plan of action - go to the local computer store and get the data backed up and purchase a new laptop - I understand the ones they make now actulally show pictures and don't have an amber screen.

The next morning while reading the paper, I note that Dell has a boxing day type special on, so I figure what the hey, if I am going to buy a laptop, why not get a higher end one, so that when it breaks I can cry that much harder. Ever helpful sister in law does some research for me, specs out a killer machine and even confirms with Dell that they have multiple shipping options. Things are looking up.

I confidently take my laptop to the computer store and ask the lady to back up my hard drive and not to try to revive the laptop. She sets off to work on it, but not before asking me if I would like to purchase a laptop from them, as they are a Dell reseller. No, I say, looking at the laptop in the display, not necessary - I have already ordered one. Which I had.

Because prior to leaving the house I had used my even older, spare, laptop (otherwise known as the abacus, or that piece of **it) to go to the Dell website and order the first, flirty business laptop that came along. Options selected, ready to go, I am about to be in the saddle with this sweet little number for all of $700. Awesome - although, why does my price not match the one my sis-in-law found? I text her immediately. Did I select the "Fast Ship" option she asks? Crap say I. Completed my order and noticed buried in the corner the 15 business day minimum shipping.

What now? Well, I will just rebuild my order, with an equivalent Fast Ship option. Better yet, I will call Dell and get them to place the order for me so no mistakes can be made!! Aha!

Soon, I am through to my new "Dedicated Sales Rep" who puts together the order for me, finds the model I was looking for and says it is available on Fast Ship, which I have variously been told can be overnight, next day or a few days. Rock and Roll!!! Oh, and the laptop is now $950. No matter, I am the master of all this stuff - I gladly pay the premium, confident that I will have the weekend to configure the beast before I go back to work.

That was December 29.

On December 30, I stop by the computer store and pick up my backup and look half longingly at the $1,000 Dell laptop sitting in their display, but, I say to myself - MINE will be better!

December 31... January 1... January 2... January 3...

I email my Dedicated Sales Rep and she tells me that laptop has shipped - oh joy! Not though from Mississaugau or wherever to Calgary. Nope, it's coming from the States to Canada. I get a tracking number that doesn't work. I get a nice email from Dell telling me my order "has shipped". That's it.

January 4 - my rep assures me that the laptop will be in Canada sometime this week. My laptop is presently in Hoboken. I presume that means it will be in my lap sometime in February. That means I use the Abacus until something better comes along. And I assure you - it is junk.

We are now at 7 days and counting. Day 15 would be the end of next week, which is when I likely would have received the $750 not-Fast Ship option. Of course a week ago tomorrow is when I could have had the Dell from the local shop or any number of perfectly acceptable off the shelf generic laptops from Best Buy, Future Shop, other computer stores or wherever.

What is the lesson? Heed your own lessons - time is money! Through this whole exercize I ended up spending more than I wanted to, have been withut laptop longer than I wanted to be and have elevated my blood pressure and reduced my work efficiency more than usual.

On the plus side, I have a cracker jack new "Dedicated Sales Rep" who I will probably never speak to again and who has probably already left for the Caymans using my Amex number and, even better, I now get daily emails from Dell telling me how fabulous they are and how they can meet all of my technology needs, almost always with a Fast Ship option.